Love and desire part-2

   Kadın, Woman, Jin, la mujer. İndeed, every problem on the earth is a bit related with woman. İmagine, woman are one of the two main character on earth which are consisting the life.  Although that, for some reasons, we need to talk about woman issue in our daily life. Even though it is very goddamn simple between woman and man. except sexuality, except acting of sex, we are totally same. man and woman . With the knowledge of that, and also with the knowledge of human history, i cannot understand whole of shit over woman body or sexuality at all on earth !
   Actually not just mans doing sextual wrongs. at the same time women are doing a lot of wrong until past to the nowadays. men and women always unconsciously making women as a thing or object of desire. we can find out it on web or TV or in the street on advertising boards, even though our daily chats with our friends. all of us doing this shit unconsciously. Now, im thinking that, our generation which generation, we are aware of it. our only fault is that, even though we are aware of it, we cannot apply that in our daily routine exactly. our mission must be that, our next generation, which are our childerens. we have to teach them that, they' il apply those in their life. i meant, it shouldnt be just in words. we have to grow childeren that, who are dont care about sexuality and they have to live whatever they want, without the influence of sexual issues. without being influenced by social norms they have to live whatever they want even as a bisexual, homosexual or heterosexual whatever they want. Our mission is that! We shouldnt be so selfish like now. İf we are keep selfish like now, and dont care about our future and just live today and dont care about tomorrow. İt will be same shit. i meant, all these thoughts will remain only in words. Thatswhy, childeren are so important and i believe that, with big possibilities, we cannot reach the days soon but our future, our childerens live the days which are we constantly dream and strive for these.
  Today, want to tell u the story of layla and mejnun, maybe/perhaps u heard it before. that's what makes this story special to me that; the story told us, there arent any sexual love on earth. Actually there aren any type of ''love''. All loves we producted on our brains. All loves producted by human's brain. Sexual love at the point of me, it seems like sado- mazoist fetishism. As a summrise of leyla and majnun story, Majnun(male) throws himself to the deserts for meet his layla(woman) again. He wanders through the deserts, torturing himself, knowing that the chances of a reunion are very low. After all he even dont want to reunion with layla, at the end he found the layla in the desert.  Layla wanted to come inside to his room, he rejected to her and close to door in her face. Because when he reached his love not actually is love. isn't everything a bit like this? when we reached our goals or things which things we are trying hard. the things or goals becoming meaningless. Actually the sexual loves might be so fuckin disgusting. i assuming i love u as a woman. is it fair ? İdk, im loving u as a coral or woman. right now, at the point of me, im thinking like that, if i' il love u for real, i need to destroy your sexual reality in my head, otherwise nobody can sure about my feelings. Thatswhy i always mention women problem in my articles ! Cause as u see, the women problem, the rights of women are a big problem between even sexual love and general philosophy between genders. Even though if i want to think and examine social struction of the communities, first we need to destroy the shape of women at all . Because, the shape of women is just a sexual shape generally in communities. When the communities give up to use women body in commercial, i' il say that, thats okey, finnaly i slightly start to normalize on sexual cases.
  As lacan said. if we assume that we cannot change the current system btw women and men; Believe me as all desires, the postponement of love increases desire. actually about all desires, if u postponement ur desire, the passion of ur desire may increse for sure. İn fact, let them deny as much as they want, having sex feel like ''Fallus'' for every man. Most of us while sex and after sex, we are adoring our penis ! I'm sure you'il understand me because you read Foucault. Weak men need to feel that they have power, so they are trying to look very proud in bed. Cause they cannot feel proud anywhere of their life part. thatswhy the bed is the only free space where they can feel their power. Thatswhy most of us lookin at women in the bed as ''fallus''.

According to lacan, the phallus(FALLUS) is not a male sexual organ. it means the missing that is never reached. According to Freud, fallus was mans first shame. According to lacan, the phallus is not a male sexual organ. it means the missing that is never reached. The first shame of male was that, lack of mans sexual organ no erection in primative comunal life's man. Because of the process of man, the erection issue so traumatic issue in the life for men, therefore sexuality so traumatic for men. Because of the all of evolutionary proceess i believing freud and lacan. Cause these are matematical. these are scientifical truth not imaginary or religous.
  İn the other hands, here's the things like those, with the masks we use in our daily lives, we believe that it is more real than the facts I have described above unfortunately. As a result, In order to maintain human emotions or desires, there must be a constant delay and push.Thatswhy im stucked on you cause u became to my reason to understood all of those shits. İt is seems like that '' like giving a wafer to a child and taking it from the child before child finish the wafer. easy access to something always destroys. What if i reach u easly, i wouldnt write all of these for you right now. im writing to you all of these cause u hard to reach right now ! for something to last forever, it is necessary to postpone continuous emotions and psychology.

 Just a moment think about famous lovers and blesssed lovers in our history, they all have one common feature in general, all of them had some block between them or they had some postpone case in their realationship in our epics and stories of humanbeing. In all these epic loves, for some reason, women are always in the forefront idk thatswhy. and it making me crazy ! because of the sexual gap or prejudices of humanbeing and it's history, i meant sexual gap !, i cannot reach my point and linguistic doesnt let me reach cause always my opinions opens to misunderstand. Cause generally men have a '' fallus '' problem at all. why does man keep chasing women? Why the man have to make first step through to woman ?  Why does a human being forget something when he has something? Just an exapmle, what if i' ve you. what if i ve u and u ve me after that ? İm sure u ' il become to the woman who be able to go to toulet for poop or able to sick, snotty people or i mean u may become to dirty and smell women. whereas there is always that unreachable woman that she was founded and raised in her head because she could not be reached on the other side.  İ WİSH U GOT MY POİNT WİTHOUT without misunderstand cause cause i would love u with in all our dirty side cause u are catalan ! :)) but dont forget that just imagine that, these words are just in case, in the case of we married, a bit time after i could give up all of these words to making for u for sure. Even i could give up to look at you like a sexual god a bit time after our marriage ( this marriage is just an example, i hate formal marriages) But my respect for you will never change because you are a catalon and because you wanted to share the feelings of a people who living in misery and massacre. Thatswhy i love you and actually i loving u all, i loving all of you who created city plaza community.The thing that makes you special is probably that I also love you sexually. Acutally idk, to loveing someone so interesting ! Sometimes I question what's the difference between you and Maria. because you're both the same for me.i 'm questioning why i treat you differently than maria. I can't accept it's just sexual.I believe this is more.