death- 3

the flesh covers the bone
and they put a mind
in there and
sometimes a soul,
and the women break
vases against the walls
and the men drink too
much
and nobody finds the
one
but keep
looking
crawling in and out
of beds.
flesh covers
the bone and the
flesh searches
for more than
flesh. 

there's no chance
at all:
we are all trapped
by a singular
fate. 

nobody ever finds
the one. 

the city dumps fill
the junkyards fill
the madhouses fill
the hospitals fill
the graveyards fill 

nothing else
fills.  

BUKOWSKİ

İ wanted to start with bukowski one more time please forgive me. For example, you will read this poem and go away as your eyes like last 30 april. itss okey for me . But I can't do it without your eyes, you know that. but Allah knows, that day we woke up well.the first opening of our eyes were for love that time. i had a desire to make love to me at early morning and never leave again.it was as if we were never poor. whereas our hearts were beating very close together, just right here and the poor izmir's people were very close to us. your meat growed as much as i touched. The love was just one cure for everything in that time. While it rained on the historic elevator, the elevator would collapse to the bottom if they left.Because we are two people, not one like anothers. whereas a glass of water was enough to soak ur hair, but i couldnt. we could fulled our stomach with a slice of bread and an olive. When I kissed you once, my second kiss insisted to me. Every time I kissed you twice, my third kiss was offended by me. You had breasts where your face ran out and your body started and ur boobs were hero for me. After ur boobs just goodness and beauty. 
  Lobster, I'm thinking of you right now in big city.A dim blue pen in my hand, two packets of cigarettes in my pocket,

Our life is like a movie playing in front of my eyes,Our going out freely, drinking water together, kissing,

I cry whenever I remember how we laughed together,Flowers, flowers, I watered the flowers this morning,

That rose just doesn't smile when you are not here,The flower you put by the window won't grow roots,

It is completely in grief these days.A dense and strong daylight is hitting the window,

The plates are cheerless on the table,The hallways are deserted,The towels are alone in the shower,Don't even ask about the kitchen-it is untidy and dirty,The sponge is right there, the breadbox is empty,The ventilator is breathless,The rugs are dusty.My clothes are in the wardrobe, and here and there,

The blue night lamp has no ambition.The door says open me, close me,The curtains are like snakes changing skin,The radio is silent, without voice,The stool is afraid of the chairs,The small room is dark and deserted.Everything is waiting for you, for your return,For you to come in,For the touch of your hands,For the touch of your eyes,And everything is repeating..How much I love you.

Lets talk about finally ''the reality effect''. İf we want to understand these, we need to know those; the fact that anything has an effect on our body just be a affect . For example according to spinozis, when i laughed, i don't laugh because there's something to laugh about.if I need a change in my body to make me laugh, and ofcourse if i need to laugh i need to purpose for me laugh. Cause the laugh causes by ideas. So, we are entering to paradox cause u cannot control ur imagines according to my words above cause the emotions control our feelings. Actually as end of the day, (it is really end of the day cause it is 6 AM right now, and my brain became sucks. we thought we have to have just one thing which effect our emotions and body in the same time. i meant synchronize our emonitons and body. it should be special thing. And what was that ? So we've to distinguish two type of imagine in our personality thoses, first internal affect and in 

other hand extarnal affects. Lets think about social affect of ours. ? if something or some fact

may affect us the things or issue, it needs to be shared with our memory.but you're looking, 

we can be impressed in a landscape. without a living being. in fact, everything makes us feel free.

What I'm questioning is that nature affects us or do we let nature affect us? actually it was so 

low key point to understand the life. What I want to ask is, does perception need an object so

 that it can be a perception or does the object already have a story? what if we understand the 

point of this bullshit also we able to understand why object of women affect us so deep or why 

we let they do ! Anyways life is so complicated and i cannot explain all fuckin life with just one 

ideology.  i dont give a fuck even with art or philosopy anymore for real. i just want to let me do that, 

let me fuck even the odds that are likely to occur in life.of course, I asked it as an open-ended question.

   Anyway, every bloody genius needs to have an existence. i know im not gineus but my existence 

is full desire to fuck you right now. Greetings from bitchen Turkey. Bona nit !